"Have Kids" They Said!

So, I should start by saying.... I love Audrey and Loretta more than anything in this world. And I would never want to live my life without them.. With that being said I will start to tell you all the things they do that make me mumble to myself, "have kids they said....it'll be fun they said!"

Now, if you are a parent, I'm sure you can relate to this blog.. and if you can't then I hope it at least gives you a good laugh. 

Do you ever have those moments or even days when you find yourself asking for the happy hour special at Dunkin donuts (2-5) but its only 12:30? Okay good, glad i'm not the only one. Do you ever think to yourself...."man I sure wish I could eat this cookie a normal speed!" because your shoveling them in your mouth as fast as you can before the little seagulls come around the corner and bust you saying "MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE!" Yeah me too. Often I know I look at my friend Elena and say, "Have kids they said, it'll be fun they said.." yeah I don't know who THEY are but if I ever meet them I've got a few bones to pick with THEM. 

No really, I love my children so much, i'm literally obsessed with them but some times I am like DAMN kids what in the world is up with youuuuu?!?!?!

One of my favorite things that Audrey does to me is when I'm in the kitchen she will get between me and the cabinets and push me away from the stove or whatever I'm doing on the counter......She doesn't even need anything!!!!! She just doesn't want the counter to have my attention apparently, I don't know. Also, I really like when we are going to have company, and I clean the house...you know run the vacuum, fix the couch pillows, pick up the play room, shove everything I don't want the guests to see in our bedroom....the usual. As soon as the kids see the house is clean its like an alarm goes off and they instantly are like, "OMG Mom just cleaned the house, TORNADO MODE ENGAGED!!" I swear, they trash the play room, drop crumbs all over the floor, or better yet, step on fruit and smash it into the tile, throw their sippy cups across the room so they splatter everywhere, fill up bags of toys and dump them all over the kitchen floor for me, etc.. all of this goes down in about 2.5 minutes. I could have went to the bathroom and come back to this wreckage. Its literally that fast. 

Lately, something that really makes me wonder why "they" told us to have kids, is this ear piercing scream my girls like to do... Sometimes its for no reason at a all. Sometimes it could be that Audrey pulled Lorettas hair... or maybe its because Loretta told me she wanted "somesssssig" and I gave her the wrong "somessssssing". This scream...Yeah, you know the one.... it makes the hair on your neck stand up... it LITERALLY makes your ears want to bleed. Yeah girl, that one.... I believe this has been happening for about 2 weeks now.. The other evening I was giving the girls a shower and Audrey had a little cup in her hand and Loretta took it and Audrey did THE SCREAM.... and it lasted for a good 10 seconds straight.. It was so loud Adam came running in from downstairs wondering who the heck was hurt. Good times... Good times..

If I asked you right now to go outside or in your garage and take a picture of your backseat, would you be embarrassed? Or, are your kids so well trained that they never throw their cups into the floor, or stash half eaten snacks in the creases of their carseats, or my favorite do they KICK THE BACK OF YOUR SEAT WHILE YOUR DRIVING and have muddy feet prints all over your headrests?? So mine isn't too bad..... We have some random toys... a few socks that got taken off and will probably make it into the house in a month or so... and sometimes I have to try and be a contortionist and squeeze through the little gap between seat and the console I like to call "No Mans Land" to reach the last Apple Jacks they decided to throw at each other and missed. Does this sound familiar? Awesome. 

Do you ever take your children out somewhere and they're absolutely the most well behaved little angels you've ever laid your eyes on? HA ME EITHER! I just love when we roll up to Target and they're both screaming with excitement. I have figured out that is excitement because they're about to JACK S*IT UP honaayyyy. Yes, I start off by letting Loretta walk because well she wants to of course.. That lasts all of about 3 minutes because she is touching EVERYTHING she walks past, which makes things fall and I have to pick them up, she's walking super slow, and almost getting taken out by super mom over here sipping her Starbucks with her iPhone in her hand and her hair and makeup on fleek 😑 not paying one lick of attention to this little blonde angel dragging her new sneakers across the nasty never cleaned floor! Then theres Audrey, perfect little baby Audrey.. She has went through my purse, thrown out my phone into the cart, and gnawing on my debit card. GREAT. I love Target.. I go in for like 3 things and come out with probably one of those things and 8948523 other things, and ready for that DD $2 latte special 😂....Hold the whip cream... *whispers* extra whip cream please! 😂

"Have kids they said, it'll be fun they said."

Happy New Year!

Hello, and Happy New Year everyone! I hope your holiday was filled with too much food, and happy memories with your family! For us, this holiday was a lot of fun. The girls are at really cool ages now, so we can start some traditions with them. For example, I really like to get everyone new pajamas and as a family open them with a book on Christmas Eve. After we open our new pjs and books we set out cookies for Santa.... (aka me, because Adam doesn't eat cookies...lucky me!). Then it is off to bed for the girls and cookie time for me... As I sit and eat the cookies this year, I am thinking... "well I probably don't need to eat them all... oh heck what's one more..." about two cookies deep, I started feeling like maybe need to have more self control with my sweet tooth.

Christmas morning comes, the girls rush out to their table to find what Santa has brought them.. Loretta immediately starts opening her books, and her "hake up", Audrey just watches and sips on her milk.. Adam and I decided that we didn't want to buy unnecessary toys for the kids this year because lets be real they only play with them for a few days, then they are forgot about.. The girls right now are both loving books and dinosaurs, so thats mostly what Santa brought them. My good friend Nicole introduced me to these Usborne books, and if you have never heard of them I HIGHLY suggest you check them out! They are beautiful and great quality books for children of any ages!! If you would like to know how to get them just ask and ill hook you up with Nicole! Anyways, (sorry I am like the queen of being sidetracked) after some reading and growling at each other with the plastic dinosaurs we packed our things, put on our stretchy pants, and headed to Fort Lauderdale to be with Adams family!

The girls are really well behaved in the car on the 4.5 hr drive......hahaha NOT. Loretta is screaming at Audrey even though they are on opposite sides of the car, and Audrey is throwing her snacks and sippy on the floor where its impossible for me to reach and still watch the road. Eventually we arrive to Grandma Graces house. This is the happiest place on earth by the way.. At any given time you can eat cookies and sweets until you explode. These cookies aren't just normal cookies either.. They are literally the best cookies in the world.. Im not sure if its the butter or the sugar that make these cookies so wonderful, but I know before we go to Grandma Graces house I try to not eat for about a week because I know I will just eat the entire time I'm there. 

Soon after we get there we open our gifts and have dinner. Dinner was amazing as I'm sure you can guess. I was super happy that I remembered my stretchy pants this year because last time I didn't..... After we are all finished eating we put on our matching pajamas.... Adma's grandma got us all personalized Santa pajamas and they were the coolest things i've ever seen. Of course, we had to all get together for pictures!!

This was the best we could do, because..... well we are all a little wild and crazy and it was very hard to get everyone to hold still long enough to get one decent picture. 

The rest of the night was spent hanging out and playing Cards Against Humanity... I have to say Adams cousins may be the most hilarious and fun people I have ever met in my entire life and whenever we get to spend time with them I usually laugh until my stomach hurts. This Christmas night was no different than any other time spent with the cousins! We warmed up leftovers from dinner, and ate cookies and junk food and laughed until the cows came home... haha there weren't any cows but I sure felt like one from eating all day! We spent a few days in Fort Lauderdale then made the journey back home to Tampa.

New Years here wasn't too exciting, we spent the night with some great friends of ours, Rich and Kim, and Adam's step sister Melissa and her husband Tony joined us. We ordered 3 giant pizzas and waited patiently for the ball to drop... Around 10:30 I looked at the clock and instantly felt super lame because I was exhausted and ready to call it a night.. But I pushed through and watched Brittany perform "toxic" in whatever kind of outfit that was.. and doing whatever kind of dancing that was.. Then came Mariah in her beautiful (but super low cut) dress and jacket of fur. Finally the ball dropped... YES! Now I can go to bed! 

Okay.. so New Years Resolutions.. Do you have one? Will you actually stick to it? These are questions people have been asking me... I have never truly made a New Years resolution.. But maybe I should start! I could stop eating cookies....no.... I take it back I really can't, and who doesn't want to eat cookies anyways... I could stop using curse words.....well sometimes you just have to mumble a few under your breath when the kids throw an entire plate of food you just prepared for them on the floor.... (this is a huge pet peeve of mine..just so you know). Maybe I could try to work out.. NO. Just no. For those of you who made a resolution I support you and hope you can stick to them.  As for me.. I guess ill just stick to not making one!

I hope 2018 brings everyone happiness and joy. Thanks for following along with me, and if there is something you'd like me to talk about next time just drop me a comment and ill see what I can do! 

"Hake-Up"

So recently, Loretta has discovered my makeup.... or as she likes to call it “hake-up”...... this is a very uhmmm exciting time I guess one would call it.... 

For those of you who know me, would know that I know absolutely NOTHING about makeup... I own eyeshadow, mascara and some lipgloss.... I have foundation that I’m not really sure how to apply.... I own one of those pink egg sponges, however, I don’t understand what the deal is with it. Are you supposed to get it wet first? What if my foundation is powder? Do I still need this “miracle sponge”? Apparently if you don’t use this sponge your foundation won’t work I guess. Well mine hasn’t left the wrapper since that one night a year ago.... Anyways, I don’t know how to do makeup. I may need to call Adams cousin Holly and have her give me lessons because I know the day will come when Loretta will want to go out in public and wear her “hake-up”.

Okay so back to Loretta doing her “hake-up.” The first time she wanted to play with makeup was a few weeks ago when Elena and I were washing our hair with some new shampoo and brushing our teeth with this ridiculous charcoal toothpaste that’s supposed to whiten your teeth and stain your toothbrush and maybe walls in the process! While Elena and I are laughing at the black rings around our lips, Loretta is digging through my old makeup bag and we happen to look over to see her.... she had concealer on her cheeks and eyeliner on her legs and arms. Lipstick was on her lips, she actually did really well with the lips. When I saw her, she was getting into the black eyeshadow. So naturally I did what every good mom would do, and I got her a headband to get her hair out of her way! I can’t decide who enjoyed this experience more.... me, Elena or Loretta! When she was finished I knew I had to show Adam. 

I scoop Loretta up in my arms and carry her downstairs to the garage where Adam and his three guy friends were hanging out. We walk in and his eyes got about as big as a half dollar. He said, “oh my god. What happened? What is all over her!?!” So we all laugh and I try to explain how Loretta wanted to do her “hake-up.” It really melted my heart how excited and proud she was. Shortly after we showed Daddy, we went upstairs and took it all off because I’ve been told it’s not good to sleep with our makeup on. So I explained this to Loretta and surprisingly she was okay with taking it off. Little did I know, this was just one of more “hake-up” experiences to come. 

Today I was getting ready to meet Elena for pedicures, and Loretta followed me into the bathroom. She went right to the bottom drawer and grabbed that makeup bag. I really didn’t have too much time to be playing makeup with her but I decided this time with Loretta was important for me to take advantage of. Lately Loretta has been acting out and I know she is screaming for my attention. So we did makeup. The sounds of her belly laugh filled the bathroom as she applied the concealer to her eyebrows and lips. Next, she went for the black eyeshadow and brushed it right above her eyes. After that she went in for the red lipstick and when she was finished she topped the lips off with concealer. In my head I’m thinking, “well this will be fun when she licks her lips and realizes the concealer probably doesn’t taste too good...” but I put my hand on her chin and moved her face so she could make eye contact with me and I smiled and said, “baby, you are so beautiful, I absolutely love your makeup! I am so proud of you! You can put make up on so well!” She smiled that beautiful smile and looked back at me and said, “mommy, Loretta do hake-up so good” at this moment I was glad I decided to forget about the rush I was in so I could enjoy this time with my sweet Loretta. 

I often feel like I’m always in a hurry, or too busy to slow down and give her my attention. I don’t mean that I never play with her. I certainly do, but most times Audrey is right beside her. I love both of my girls the same, but I forget sometimes how special they are individually! So whenever Loretta wants to play with her “hake-up” guess what.... we do it.

Intro

Hello, My name is Dana and I will be driving this crazy train I like to call life. Here, I will fill you in on some exciting experiences of my everyday life.. Sometimes I really want to just put my running shoes on and run until I can't run anymore... but lets be real I wouldn't make it very far.... Im not exactly a runner and.....donuts.

  If you're hoping to read something that makes sense or has perfect grammar you should just look somewhere else. I have two small children and I'm doing good to make sure we have clean clothes to wear! So if you're ready for something real then welcome aboard!

Adam- Okay, so first off I love this man so much. He is the most loving and caring person I have ever met.. Not to mention he's pretty good looking too!😉 Adam is the most amazing father in the entire world and we are so very lucky to have him in our lives. Aside from being a father, he is also a fishing charter captain in Tampa, Florida. We have a 30ft pontoon boat that he takes his clients on to catch Redfish, Snook, Trout and whatever else will take the bait! Adam and I met in the Shenandoah Valley at a timeshare resort called Massanutten. The day we met also happened to be my 21st birthday, and the best "first day" of a new job ever..... 

It was August 23rd, 2013 and I put my 2002 Chevrolet 1500 in park outside of the tour center. I looked around and there were people parking and getting out of their vehicles to walk inside and clock in. Everyone was dressed very nice, men in suits with ties and women in skirts or slacks and heels.... Here I am in a sweater to cover my tattoos and flats... Im on the phone with my mom and I tell her I'm not sure I can do this. Ive never sold anything in my entire life other than trail rides at a barn! How in the world did I think I could sell someone a vacation? Then I see a black GMC 3500 pull in and back into a spot.... Okay who does this guy think he is, I'm thinking to myself.... He gets out.... OHHH... DANG! WHO IS THAT GUY? Well I'm sure by now you can guess that it was Adam. So I tell my mom, "alright mom I got this, I'm going to hang up and walk in now!" I walk to the building and there is a buddy I've known for a few years so I stop and chat with him for a minute then Adam comes down the steps and shakes hands with my old friend and says hello! WHAAAA?? So I casually tell Adam that he had a nice truck and he just says oh thanks and walks away...... Well I was hoping for more than an "oh thanks" but okay whatever... 

Days and weeks go by and ill save you the mushy details but eventually Adam and I started paying more and more attention to each other and before we knew it we were eating dinner together and couldn't stand the idea of being apart. So here we are now, 4.5 years later and two beautiful daughters later... And were just living the dream.

Loretta and Audrey- Loretta is currently 2.5 years old and Audrey is 1.5 years old. I cannot stand when you ask someone how old their child is and they say, "Oh she's 36 months.." Dude, just say she's 3. SHES 3!! Anyways, we have the most beautiful daughters in the whole world but I know everyone always says that about their own children.. These two girls are so full of life and energy! Sometimes they have so much energy I wish I could bottle it up and sell it to people like me who are always tired. ☺️ Right now Loretta enjoys crafting, baking and reading. She will paint or make cookies until the cows come home. If you ask her, "Loretta would you like to bake some cookies?" she will start screaming and go get her stool to drag over to the kitchenaid mixer! She's so smart sometimes it blows my mind. Oh, and she's now at that age where she asks, "WHY?" every few minutes... and "what are you doing mommy?" in between every "Why"... lucky me I'm so excited for this stage.............not.... Audrey is very obsessed with dinosaurs lately. I recently read online about how children who love dinosaurs turn out to be very intelligent.. so I'm really hoping thats true because one of these girls needs to be our retirement plan. 😉

Me- So im pretty simple. Well not really but it sounds better than saying I'm a crazy person who is obsessed with my husband, children and best friends..... I love coffee in the morning and donuts. Aside from being a mom I am a friend to some pretty amazing people. I have two girls who I am very close with... Elena- She is the best friend I could have ever asked for. I met Elena when I was pregnant with Audrey and in a lot of pain, she was my massage therapist. Immediately we hit it off and started being friends right away. She later introduced me to her beautiful cousin Nicole. Both of these girls help me get through my days and a lot of times keep me sane. Id be lost without them....not to mention they have the most adorable boys you've ever seen in your life and I love being able to let my girls grow up with them!

You may not feel like you quite "know" us yet but just stick along with me and I will fill you in as we go and hopefully give you a good laugh! Thanks for reading!